Hi Desertrose, I can identify with some of what you are going through. At various stages of my depression I have experienced and am still experiencing some of the things you struggle with now. If I could, I wouldn't get out of bed, but I have to work because I live alone and have to support myself. I usually feel a little better too when I get out of bed and do something.

Like you, my christian beliefs keep me from suicide. I just can't do it. Daily tasks like bathing, brushing my teeth and cooking are difficult. I sleep well (perhaps too much) and I now eat a lot (after many years of not having an appetite). I had a relationship that recently ended in total disappointment. That plunged me back into darkness and back on antidepressants, but I'm doing better than I was when it just ended.

There are aspects of your life that will get better and there are some that you'll struggle with, but all in all I understand your pain and hope for both of us that it'll one day all go away. Lots of hugs