((((((WePow))))))

Thank you for understanding how important my session was to me. It was a powerful post because my session was powerful! I just got my one weekly brief email from my T. Now that I know what to expect from her emails, I'm not disappointed in them anymore.

She wrote that she still likes me very much and no matter what I write that won't change. She says we can talk more about it at my session.

I had told her all of my reactions to the session including how it made me feel about her, and how that makes me feel yukky and ashamed. I feel relieved knowing that I can write and feel icky stuff and she will still like me. I already knew it but I needed the reassurance from her.

I know I'm afraid of being close to my T. The intimacy is too intense and I'm afraid something will happen. I don't know what exactly. Maybe the feelings of what I want or am missing will be too much and I will cling to her and not let go. I'll make a fool of myself because I know the feelings aren't for her but I will get out-of-control. I scared myself when I said I wanted to throw the buzzers at her. I've thrown things at home when I've gotten angry. I don't trust myself, like maybe I will explode!