Hi, my name is Krista, i'm 21 and I live in Oregon.To put it simply, this is what im dealing with at this very instant. I have struggled with depression for such a long time it seems to be normal now. I wear bright clothes and have bright hair and people still see how sad I am. I dont share many things with people because I think so much that no one really understands. Everyday I'm always in my own head. All thats been on my head lately is :
Money-not making enough, dont have enough
School-dropped out and I feel like a failure. I want to go back but I'm just so tired from stress I dont think I can do it.
Weight-I've always been thick, but being 5'7 and 165 lbs is not a party. I feel ugly all the time, and unwanted.
Family- My 11 yr old little sister has brain tumors, and as a result was recently paralyzed.
Car- Totaled my last one when I was crashed into in Compton, CA for being white. (mind you i was passing through trying to find a drunk friend who called for help) and have been on public transit for a year and 2 months now which is super fun in Portland, OR.
Work-I should be thankful for having one, but having my employee tell me he will be rude to me until I hate him as much as he hates me. and several others who I constantly have to babysit.
Health-I was hospitalized last week for vomiting up blood for 4 hours. yay. 1,300 dollars later they still dont know whats wrong with me.

Im just so stressed I dont know what to do. Ending it seems to be the only way. I wont. But I want to. I just want to crawl into a deep deep deep dark hole and die. Please help, what do I do?