Hello, LovebirdsFlying. I am curious if you think it might be efficacious for you to write out for your husband what you posted here. Perhaps I am wrong but I think he might view the problem you are dealing with as a competition. You also might consider having him respond in writing.

Writing out my concerns has helped me hone in on exactly what I want to communicate. Sometimes, I start by saying what I am not writing about if I am concerned another might go off on a tangent.