I am currently in a relationship with my partner of 7 years. I feel like I am being taken advantage of. First I should point out we live in a house (our house) with a total of 7 people in it (her and I, her son 21, two of his friends 21 and 22, a roommate and his 12 yr old daughter). I have no "me" space in the house. Every room, even the garage is used by someone else.

Things like, I have asthma and my lungs haven't been feeling so great lately. She smokes in the attic living room/computer room, which was where my computer was as well until a few weeks ago. I had asked more than once for her to just let me know when she was going to have a cigarrette so I could go into another room until the smoke cleared. She woud do it for a few hours and then would stop. I dont' think she is doing it malicously, just honestly forgetting. But my asthma isn't new.

I work and go to school full time, she stays home and plays on the computer all the time, or at least it appears that way. Housework, if done at all, gets done by her 21 yr old son or me when I have time. I have asked multiple times for her to get a job to help. Because she has been out of work for over 15 years, I understand she might need help getting back into work. So I made sure she got in touch with organizations that could help. But this was over a year ago.

I worry about her son hurting me on accident. He smokes pot regularly, he also has Asberger's. But is not in treatment because he doesn't want to do the drug tests. I am in IT, and want to get into IT security. His drug use could potentially cost me my career when it comes to high level background checks. I have approached her about his drug use and the answer I get is "Oh it is just pot no big deal" But to me it is. I have tried to make that clear, but I have apparently failed. He is very volitale at times, breaking things, throwing koolaid at me. I DO understand that he has issues, but I am starting to fear for my own safety with him in the house.

As far as the other people in the house go, I have been saying for years I don't want anyone else to move in when the others move out. But just this last year is an example. One of her son's friends had no other place to stay, she asked me if I had a problem with him moving in. I said I definitely DO have a problem with it. I cannot handle the stress and emotions of all these people in the house. But I wind up giving in because I am told oh well he will be living under a bridge, and he needs to see his doctors and etc. I give in just so I don't have to listen to it anymore. But then wind up more stressed.

This thing is, yes I do love her. But I am planning on moving back home to Texas. My dad is giving me land with a house on it down there and bills will be a fraction of what they are here. We have talked about the move briefly. I have no feedback though if she even wants to move. I have already told her that there can be no smoking in home there. I know that I cannot have her son in the house. I refuse to be afraid in the home that he is gonna hurt me once I move. Plus I refuse to allow his drug habit on the land there. Currently that isn't an issue because he doesn't want to move to Texas. But I don't know that he can be on his own here, or that she will want to leave him here. At this point I am not sure I can or should even try to salavage this mess. I try talking and she just goes and plays her games and socializes online. I can't get her to go out with me unless it is to the store, which i detest. Not even to the Pagan social group we are both a part of.

At this point I just don't know that I should even try. This has been on going for a number of years. I KNOW that it isnt' all her. I have my own issues as well. I have ADHD, and SAD both of which are untreated right now becaue lack of insurance. These conditions combined with the stress I am under with working full time, going to school full time and no personal time is causing anger issues as well as some very OCD like behaviors. And I know that is most likely upsetting her. But thing is I am moving. I want her to come with me, or at least I think I do. But regardless I am moving.

I am just frustrated and worried about bringing all this up to her now. I have only been in my job about 2 1/2 months. I need at least 6 months exp on this job before I do anything though. There is no where else in the house for me to go.