Of course you are making sense! What you describe is very real.

Perhaps I can offer some insight. They way you describe your therapist sounds very similar, believe it or not, to mine - although he will allow emergency phone calls.

At first, the boundaries were very very strict. I realize now it was because he had to develop (1) a trust in me too and (2) what I was comfortable with or not. Over time they have relaxed somewhat. We have hugged twice and shake hands every session.

I think perhaps he has left his chair to sit with me on the couch a grand total of once and that was to look at a picture. He never tells me anything about himself. I've worked with him for several years.

I don't know why you are in therapy, but for me feeling safe was essential. The fact that he DID maintain such strict boundaries was very comforting to me. It meant that I had little fear from him. He was disciplined and professional. Feelings could fly around that room, yet be completely contained in the therapeutic space.

I think this pain you feel may be stemming from what I call "face planting in the therapeutic boundary". I have done that many times. I wanted more from my therapist than what is actually there.

It really really really helped me to talk about it with him. I realized, over time, that he is actually more there with me than I had ever thought a person could be.