I miss the feeling happy. The feeling like doing things.. like doing anything. Lately I've wanted to go off the Geodon..SO bad. The trouble is my (hypo)mania also shows itself as bouts of anger, and that's not worth it. Some days I think, ok, I'm grown up and capable enough to control myself. But one little blow up from me can be massive to my kids. .... And even knowing this, I'm still on the fence. I know if I take it without food only about 40% is absorbed by the body so titrating down would be easy enough. Then there are the hormones...maybe. I'm about to be 47 and probably in perimenopause. Is it the bipolar or is it the peri? Do antipsychotics work on peri symptoms?

I miss being able to FEEL life.