I read your post and went

My T has never said those words but she sure has gotten into the neighborhood, and it's the pits. It took me a while to understand that being called the healthIEST is not a judgment that one is HEALTHY (and therefore an implication that one is malingering / unworthy of therapy / wasting the T's time, etc). Yr T has expressed it very well.

I find that the grief comes up by itself from time to time, in waves, when I take some quiet time to think back over early days. I'm always surprised at how deep it is. I never know when it's going to hit though, not something that I can just summon...

maybe yr T can give you some pointers? Mine hasn't offered any but I might ask. Thank you for this thread,