You've all been so great, thank you so much. I don't really have too many people to talk about my "therapy crazy" with, so this is a godsend.

I feel more and more that I really need to talk through all of this with him. That I need to tell him the ways in which our sessions feel distant or chilly, or how his physical distancing makes me feel even more physically repellent than I already feel. I'm not ready to give up on this, because he has been very empathic when I've talked about my feelings honestly. And frankly, I've seen a lot of shrinks in my day and I do sense that he is very, very good. But I need him to know how this feels.

I also want to ask him to tell me, specifically, how he approaches therapy and why. Does he maintain "abstinence" (an approach of not disclosing, or conveying much by way of warmth or emotion) because it reveals the client's material more clearly, or because he's not a particularly expressive guy in general? Or does he actually warm up a bit once he knows his client more and knows the boundaries are solid? I feel like I need clarity about all these things so I don't bumble around and then inadvertently bump into the sharp corner of one of his limits.

I guess what I'm saying is I sense potential for a good working relationship here, and that the firmer boundaries might help me in some ways. (My previous T in particular was very warm and tender, but had a looser approach, and couldn't ultimately help me explore what I need to look at now, or challenge me around current goals the way my current T can.) So I've decided I'm going to keep showing up and talking with him unless it becomes clear that the therapeutic climate is too austere to be helpful to me. But I feel like there's much more to talk about with him before I reach that decision.

Just writing about all this, and hearing and responding to your questions, has been so incredibly helpful. This is a great place to be and I thank you all.