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Mar 11, 2011, 02:30 PM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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Hi Smacky ~ What is it that you WOULD love to do? What is your heart's desire?? It may NOT be unattainable. Don't give up on it so quickly. If it's something that you have always wanted to do, why not see if you can do it?? 
You know, you're trying to define yourself by your illness, school, your expectations (which might be a bit too high). Those things don't define YOU. YOU are intelligent, caring, considerate, kind, etc. Of COURSE you deserve to live!! God put you here for a reason, and God doesn't make junk!! It's up to you to figure out what God's reason for you being here is.  Sometimes it take awhile -- and sometimes we figure it out quite quickly.
I think you're just overwhelmed with emotions right now, and everything is coming down on you all at once. If you don't have a therapist, it would be good to get one. If there's a therapist on campus, please talk with him. If you can financially manage it, get a therapist off campus. Either way, it will do you good to speak with one. You won't regret it.
God bless you ~ I really hope you'll talk with one . And let us know how you make out. We really care. Hugs, Lee
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