Well, I did take a plunge this morning......I took in some of my posts that have to do with my emotional neediness, my wishes for what T could give me (but can't), and also to do with struggling to understand my self-identity and my insight (or lack of it) issues.....So I not only now have told T about posting on PC, I have shown her my posts, and she even knows my name here (she wondered what the abbreviation PG stood for....and I thought, oh well, and told her....)
So, I confessed that I wish she could hold me (she won't of course, and re-iterated that firmly; a little less firmly would have stung less) and I confessed that I have sexual fantasies about her......and I confessed that I am still struggling with my sexuality, what is my sexual identity, am I bi-sexual (in the interests of transparency, the answer is yes......although, no, I truly am not attracted to my T in the sense that I am really wanting to fulfill those fantasies with her!). Anyway, it was quite an open, transparent, raw sort of session and she said she thought I was brave and she admired that. I am just drained and trying to process it all......
(maybe should put some of this in a new thread, but oh well, typed it and leaving it here for now!)