Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
I know many Ts give hugs these days, but I don't think many would actually "hold" their clients. I brought it up with my new T too, and she said she wouldn't do it, but she will hold my hand.
Holding someone: what does that mean for adults anyway? We're physically too big, aren't we?  I think of the child part wanting my T to hold me, and I think of myself as small then, but realistically I don't think it could work. Or, maybe you mean like sustained hugging? Is that holding? If I ever cry in therapy (don't hold your breath) I wish my T would hold me like that, but I know she won't.
Hugs are nice, though.  I never got hugs for 15 years of therapy with any of my various Ts. Of course I would have rejected a hug anyway, but they didn't try. |
You know, what I have really been thinking of when I say hold is this.....that if I ever cry, she wouldn't just let me sit there! For some reason, I have this dread of just having her sit there while I cry.....and the need to be held or to even have a simple touch of the hand on my shoulder or something....just the feeling that without the touch the tears won't come either. I have touch and tears all mingled together in my mind....
obviously, this goes back to the fact (for me anyway) that I lacked this comfort and nurture growing up and the dynamic with my mother never supported this (and probably wouldn't now either!). For the 1st time, she used the word transference in therapy....saying that this is the transference between us, and the use of this word here is something I can't deny. There is the attachment yes, but here is the transference within the attachment, all right enough!
