I was too scared to go to T today;thankfully he understood. I have been having panic attacks due to PTSD and other things and they all seem to relate to the end of the world...what ever that means. It could be as simple as the end of MY world i.e. trauma in early childhood which felt like the end. I spoke to T twice on the phone today. There were no hospital beds available anyway (I was kind of relieved) and the suggestion to get a holding bed in the addictions unit wouldn't work for me. The meds I am on (and do not abuse) are very addictive and I AM deprendent on them, so that particular unit would frown on giving me my regular meds.
I am feeling ok at the moment and my husband is being wonderful, so the situation is better than it had been. My T does seem distracted at times, but he is human and getting older, with some health issues. If the past is any predictor, T will be there for me as he always has been. I just need to keep remembering that.
Thank you all for the support you've shown me.
It gets so confusing sometimes, when I am that depressed, to know what to believe or who to trust, you know?