Nightdream, I feel your pain. My mother has histrionic pd, and recently said she loved me during my dad's funeral after I hadn't spoken to her for 2 years. I think it is true she feels this way, but it is not the kind of love that is healthy for me, but the kind of taking love she only knows how to do. The thing is, the children of PD parents need love from their parents that isn't distructive, or just need them to love them period--and it hurts so much when we don't get it. It is an empy feeling when you realize your PD parent isn't able to love you for your sake. How I survived it--I had to tell myself I was lovable, that I had to accept that Mom wasn't going to love me for my own sake, and then grieve it. I had to go through all the stages of greiving like it was a death. Then, as time goes on I have taught myself to manage what remaining pain I have, to remember that I have only one life to live, so I need to live it with the choice of being fully engaged in my own happiness as I am responsible for it and to keep moving forward. Always move forward because as sad as it is to be the child of a PD parent, we can recover from our pain and live a good life.