One thing that has thouroughly confused me is the concept of transference.

Well last night this concept was finally suddenly clear to me.

I am rereading my Nancy J Napier books. I saw my therapist on Wensday and she told me the order form for my Nancy J Napier tapes ( reminder to those who have no idea what I am talking about -my therapist through the agencys flex fund (account used for client needs) is getting me one of three sets of tapes that goes with Nancy J Napiers books I don't remember which set she is getting me)

but anyway when we talked she said besides getting the one set if we set a goal using this stuff during therapy ...

(my first thought was she's trying to use this as getting me to work with her instead of always doing my therapy stuff on my own and Im not going to like the goal, defenses up theres a catch coming up)

.... time and we accomplish that goal the agency will most likely ok getting me the other 2 sets. (defenses down I can do this no problem. and I get to keep the tapes)

So there I was going through my books trying to decide an area to work on with my therapist and there was a spot in the book that explained "transference" and "attachment" and how they are different.

This is from the book Getting Through The Day by Nancy J. Napier published by W. W. Norton & Company Ltd.

(page 252)

"This process of allowing yourself to experience a full array of feelings with the therapist involves engaging what is called "transference" : Unresolved issues from the past are "transferred" onto or experienced as a part of current relationship."

Ok thats clear to me - My talking about what happened to me in the past moves (transfers) what happened to me outside me onto or into the therapist so that we can figure out my feelings about it. I was abused so sometimes when talking to my therapist I feel defensive because I am remembering the feeling of being abused and think she is going to abuse me.

But I keep hearing about people saying falling in love with their therapist is transference no where in there does it say falling in love or caring about the therapist where does that fit in here?

So I kept reading and found on the next page not on and not related to the topic of transference was the topic of "Attachement"--

(page 254) topic - It Hurts to Need Someone So Much.

"many therapists have begun increasingly to focus on what are called issues of attachment"

then goes into details of the dynamics of how the abused need to feel cared for and cared about and have a "secure base" and caring about the therapist., and separations from the therapist. In order to cover it all I'd have to type the whole two pages that are covered in the attachment section.

But now I understand -

TRANSFERENCE is taking the past situations and feelings about those situations out there to be dealt with kind of like moving (transferring) an object from one place to another. I pick up a glass and move (transfer) it from the counter to the table to drink. I take the past feelings and situations and move them outside of myself and to my therapist to take care of them

ATTACHMENT is connecting and caring about the therapist and needing the therapist to take care of me and missing my therapist when she is not available or on vacation/out of town and so on.

I know that there is a big issue of therapist attachment issues and transferance issues being discussed here so I thought I would post this for anyone that may be as confused as I was on these things.