Hi there,

I am sorry that the evening went the way it did, and that you experienced a real sense of betrayal from your T.

Not knowing all the perspectives of the various parties involved, I can speak to this as a nursing student who works in a hospital now and previously at the state psych hospital. People's biochemistries are very, VERY different and the dosage of Klonopin you took could be, to a hotline worker or first responder, a strong indicator that you need to be assessed "just in case." Also, more people than you can possibly imagine take benzos with other substances, especially alcohol, which can literally kill you in your sleep. And many people don't report that to crisis workers or healthcare providers.

I'm not saying that you did this or that you didn't communicate clearly with your T about what happened. I'm just saying that this is a very real safety issue for any kind of hotline staff or for first responders like cops or ER staff. And it probably was a safety concern for your T too. The rule in medicine is, when in doubt, assess. That's true in psych in particular. Another rule of first-responding and ER medicine is that people presenting in the ER can often be MUCH sicker than they initially appear.

All this is to say that, and I don't mean to be harsh here, but taking "a handful" of a highly sedating medication and calling a crisis hotline is practically ensuring that you'd get a knock on your door. And I think that's good. You are safe and here to talk with us, which is a great and important thing.

I absolutely hear the real and important sense of betrayal you feel--and that would be an excellent thing to talk with your T about, for closure if nothing else. My sense of this is that the various parties involved felt obligations to ensure your safety, up to and including a hold. Just my $.02.

Please take good care--and take the meds as prescribed!