I'm so glad that you are both safe. The news of today really drove home the fragility of our little lives. I watched some Youtube meditation and inspiration videos last night, and it stayed with me through this morning. I called my aunt and asked her about my cousins. We were close as kids, but I haven't had contact in many years. I began comparing my life to theirs, though I tried to stop myself. That began to sink me. Then, despite directions and a map to an unfamiliar location, I didn't see the streets, took wrong turns getting there and returning home. A stranger saw me in my car staring hopelessly at the atlas and offered help. I was a basketcase at that point, convinced that dementia is just around the corner. The shame I feel about my problems and my failures is so deep. It's like a snowball rolling downhill, getting larger and larger. Before long, I was convinced that I won't be able to work at all, or drive, and that I'm alone because I'm not capable of loving anyone, and never have. And on, and on. The ground shifts under my feet so frequently. It's very hard to ground myself once I'm triggered. I know you've both said that there was room here for divulging the tough stuff, but I always feel SO guilty for putting it out there. It's too much, too often. I'm so much crazier than I realize, half the time. I'm so tired of white-knuckling it through my life all the time. It's so hard to stop these mental habits, even when it's plainly observed. Forgive me for this. Please tell me to stop if it's too much. I don't want to wear out your patience and kindness.