wow yesterday was so hard for me.i know it was only a short time that i had no idea what was happening with my son but it totally affected my mood all day i was really rocky all day.i went from being genrally angry to numb to being angry and i realised i am angry at T again for all these changes she has made.how can i do this feel any big feelings and not be able to contact her for help i just cant do it.god at the end of a session she goes home and has dinner and doesnt give things a second thought and i go home and want to SI all over the place and dont want to feel how i am feeling and dont know how to deal with it.but i am just left with it.and then she feels like it is all ok if she says she is sorry and that she wouldnt ask me to deal with all this painfull stuff if she felt it wasnt going to help.but she believes it can.if i feel these horrable feelings how do i just shut them off and then bring them back the next week.not happening and the way i felt yesterday and not being able to atleast e-mail her made me feel this even stronger.i want to be able to do this but am getting scared that i cant