I concur at the statement that a lot of out "irrational beliefs" are based in childhood. I think for myself, I was trying to get my step-father to like me by thinking like I thought he did. If I was like him, then wouldn't he like me? Also, I learned a lot of them or had them reinforced by my classmates in high school. So, I do agree that it might be better to call no longer useful thoughts rather than irrational thoughts.
What I do like about the CBT/rational emotive therapy is that it is handy for choosing to change your beliefs. I tend to also like to talk myself out of believing odd things like that person is mad at me when he acted grumpy towards me. I don't know if he is already having a long day. Or maybe I actually do know that he is having a hard day (my boss one day got grumpy and I knew he was having a hard day and I still thought at first that he was angry with me).
As for the odd fighting/civil war that I referenced, I mean that I sometimes think "I'm stupid." Then I tell myself that I am not stupid because I have a bachelor of science. Then once in a great while, I will think what good is smarts if you cry when stressed? I don't have much of a response for this one. I do this some at work. Sometimes, I do it a lot at work. If I am sad, I do it a whole lot.
Does the thinking cause the sadness or does the sadness cause the thinking? I don't know. I do some negative thinking always. But, I did it a lot more just before I developed the odd sleeping problem. T thinks that I am stressing out which is possible. I tend to get squirrelier when I stress. But, I don't think I've ever managed to do it to this degree.
However, I have seen signs in my own thinking that changing a belief can have a strong effect on the my moods and behavior. I used to believe that people who make more than me are better than me. When this belief was removed by me, I discovered that I thought "I'm stupid" around my sister's house a lot less. More importantly, I was surprised to note that I was much less moody and irritable at her house after this. I thought this was a way cool thing to happen!
As for therapy, one may have to try different types to find the one that works. I would hope that a T wouldn't blame the client for its failure unless the client isn't really working at all. However, it is hard sometimes to know this because so much of the work is internal. So, it can't be seen. I suspect some Ts get impatient or frustrated when they don't see the expected improvement and blame the client. I will still be human even if I do become an addiction counselor. So, I can relate to this predicament. I just hope that a T in that situation would be able to find someone to talk to in order to share their frustration with the lack of progress rather than blame the client. Other times the client might need a push or nudge. I suspect it would be hard to know when a push is needed or just active listening is needed.