Husbands and wives grieve very differently. One of the best things you can do for yourselves is go to a grief support group esp. for child loss. It is so good to be able to tell your story to people who listen and connect. The situation may be different, but the journey is the same. It has been 33 years since I lost Jennifer. The intensity isn't there, the loss still is.
It takes time and work. Grief isn't just a step by step instruction and you're done...
It's a journey I am very sorry you have to go on. But there are many along the way who are willing to hold your hand, walk with you, listen or just be silent.
God speed as you take those first steps to healing