Thank you for your story. I hate that your breathing has gotten so bad. If I could go back to 16 year old me and smack that first one out of my hand, I would do it! But at least I can try to smack 42 year old me.

I slipped and smoked one last night, so I bought the higher does patches and threw out the pack I broke down and purchased. So, back on the wagon now. My breathing feels easier with the no cigs, albuterol, and prednisone.

There are 30 rehab programs for drug and alcohol abuse. I wish the medical community and insurance companies would realize what a powerful drug and addiction nicotine is and start something like that for cigarettes.

I'm keeping in touch with my psychiatrist every 2 days or so, just to make sure my asthma meds and the stress of no nicotine don't adversely affect my bipolar status too much. I don't need to cause more "emotional" issues and I don't need to use my bipolar as an excuse to smoke. Geez, this being a grown up can suck sometimes. Ha!