My T encourages me to let myself cry because I will often try to hold it back (still, after all this time). He can see me struggle to hold it in. It actually is a big release if I stop that struggle. Letting out a little sob can really feel good. But usually crying for me means tears leaking out of my eyes and running down my cheeks. I am not a noisy cryer or a sobber--more of a subtle cryer. But I do struggle with trying to maintain control and being embarrassed about crying. If I am crying more than just the tears leaking type, I might cover my face with my hand to get some privacy. Sometimes I get frustrated or impatient (not again!!) with myself for crying. The biggest problem with crying, actually, is me, not my T. He is great and sits there across from me and encourages me and sometimes will make little soothing noises. There is always kleenex within arms reach. My T does not touch me when I am crying, but I feel very held. Sometimes he has said, when I am recounting something especially painful and crying, "I am sitting right here, giving you a hug," and he makes a hugging motion with his arms (giving himself a brief hug). It's very touching.

If my T did offer me kleenex by hand, I would not find it not therapeutic. Some people have such a hard time crying in therapy, that I think if the T can enable that by offering a tissue, then great! My T does enable my crying by creating a safe environment for that and being a safe person to cry around. IMO, T's should enable us to express our emotions. My T helps enable my crying by having a box of kleenex nearby. I don't see that this is less enabling than him handing me one. It is interesting to me that people talk about enabling as if it is a bad thing. That is part of the T's job in many ways. A good T should be good at enabling, IMO. If they are not, we would just sit there and say nothing, too scared or intimidated to talk.