Absolutely full of anxiety and self-loathing and the usual depression-induced rigamarole. Most of it is school-related. Looking back on the last few years, and with only 3 months left of my degree, I can say that I've learned a VERY important lesson from my depression, if nothing else: It is not worth it for me to apply myself to anything I hate. It is not worth it for me to persist in making myself miserable for the sake of other people. It is not worth it for me to deny my own feelings and it is DEFINITELY not worth it for me to spend four years focussed on a branch of academia that bores me on its best days and makes me want to curl up in a ball and weep on its worst.

Not worth it. Not for one second. I am finishing this degree (and just barely, since I can only make it to a handful of classes per week as the depression has been leaving me more or less bed-bound as of late) because I've come this far. But I swear, once it's done, I'm never looking back.

I just have to survive three more months. A lot of my friends are in the same position but they don't seem to think three months is a very long time. But when you have to live your life day-to-day because there's no telling whether you'll be capable of getting out of bed in the morning, three months is a VERY long time.

The last leg of the race is definitely the longest.