Beachy, welcome. I only now saw your post. I can relate to a number of your issues. Today, I went to an ACOA/alanon meeting, walked Sherman 2X along the bike path, did a sewing alteration job for someone, listened to soothing music, mopped up some meltwater from the basement floor, called 2 friends, wrote up some interviews I conducted for my investigator's report, and tried to respond skillfully to the flood of harshly self-critical thoughts and accompanying emotions I had all day long. Not too bad, considering how rotten I felt.