My T makes this face too

I didn't cry EVER before therapy. Not alone, not with other people. And it took me a long, long time before I cried in therapy. I think the first time I cried was after T was on a vacation - he came back and I was just angry and overwhelmed with these huge feelings and I laid face down on the couch and cried

I do cry in therapy now. Honestly, it makes me feel kind of "normal"...I knew that my non-reaction to everything in my life wasn't right, but I just couldn't tap into my feelings about stuff. I was SO numb. Now, when I'm sad, I cry.

If my T is sitting across from me, he sometimes asks "why the tears?" (if he doesnt know why I'm crying). He makes the face that skeski mentioned. If I'm really sobbing, he'll gently talk me through it, and say things like "good girl" or "you're doing a good job".

Once, he was sitting next to me, and I was just LOST in the badness. I was telling him one of my hardest, saddest memories, and I was bent over with my face on my knees, really sobbing. T reached over and kind of rubbed my back. It was nice to have that in the midst of remembering what was probably my saddest moment from when I was young. It felt like someone actually saw me and got it and cared. I felt soothed.

I don't LIKE crying in therapy because I don't like to feel that sad. But I do like that it's a safe enough place for me to be able to feel what I need to feel.