((rainbow))

It's ok to feel scared. What's happening is new and different and important. Your T is big enough and strong enough and skilled enough that she can be in charge, and she can help you contain all this. Even the situation with the emails, which hurt you at the time, shows that T can be safely in charge.

I'm wondering whether there's a middle path between living solely for therapy and 'pretending' everything is fine? Like seeing your external life as a way to live out what therapy is teaching you? Or a chance to try out some things and gain more insight into others, to take back to therapy? Is there a way to interact with others while honouring how you feel inside? Just thinking aloud ...