The more I read replies, the more I think about my crying in session.
It is odd, but I feel like I deserve to finally have someone witness my internal agony.

For so many years, I was made to stick on a happy face. I was told that "Big girls don't cry." I was shown by my mom that if you did have to cry, you were to lock yourself safely away in your bedroom and not come out until you were composed.

But my father taught me that anger COULD be shown in public! It could be used as a weapon and used to manipulate people. ugggg

And we wonder why it is so hard for us to be HONEST about our emotions most of the time.

When I am with my T, I am re-learning how to be healthy. That means he teaches me how to take my anger and focus it into words that address the issue rather than energy that comes out all sideways and hurts others.

And the tears show me that it is OK for me to feel sorrow and compassion when I am with others. I don't have to hide away under a rock if I need to cry. It is not a shame to cry. It is NOT "being a girl" if I cry.

((Ever notice in society how if a man cries in public, people tend to show a lot more respect for the guy? If a woman cries in public, many people look down on her and say things like "Woman are so emotional" ))

To be honest, I have seen in my lifetime more men cry in public than woman! That is because of the deep shame woman tend to be handed when we do cry.

Session time is about being honest. It is about being able to express ourselves without the shame. I think the tissue issue is often a distraction to what is supposed to be happening in that sacred healing space. If a T hands us a tissue, it should not be the focus of the event. If we have to use our shirts like I do when I am in my child alter stage, so what! Who cares!!!! Yes, it is messy. Yes, I know I do this and I will go home and stip my shirt off to launder it pronto!

The point is that crying in therapy is a display of honesty and trust. I think it takes time and work for a client to be free enough to present themselves with total honesty to the T. If I were a T, I would be highly honored to see a man or woman be able to display their pain in raw form with messy tears to me. And yes, I would put a tissue box next to them if they appeared to be searching out one through the tears.