Maven, first let me say that i am so glad that you did post and get some of your frustrations out. i'd be frustrated too, if i lived with someone who paid me as little attention as your BF pays you. i'm sorry that he treats you as he does.

you mentioned your weight and i wanted to ask you if you do anything physically to help lose some of the lbs? walking is the easiest and cheapest thing that we can do and it is also one of the very best exercises around. it's easy on our joints and even if it is only half a block at a time, it helps the metabolism and increases a feeling of well-being within us. watching your portions and eating more vegetables and grains also helps.

i understand about wanting to be held and touched. i've been single 15 years and the desire to be loved never goes away. that is a very normal feeling.

perhaps you need to change Ts and also work on that weight. it sounds to me as if that might be something positive that would give you some good feelings about yourself. and you're pretty down on you right now. don't beat yourself up, just get up and take control of your life. in ten years, you don't want to be there..doing the same thing.........xoxoxo pat