distressedi have the same type of family. their behaviors won't change, imho. but you can change you and never allow a relationship like this that you have with your family by using therapy as a tool. in my case i keep a healthy distance from my family. i don't have to explain myself to them. they wouldn't acknowledge it anyway. i am their scapegoat no matter how kind i've been to them. your post could have been mine before i got into therapy and we worked out the problem..like my guilty feelings when i wasn't really guilty but for loving ppl that don't have the capacity to love who i truly am. i made a "new" family by surrounding myself with wonderful friends who love me in spite of any faults i may have. it's called unconditional love. you can do the same in your life. you sound like a person who has a good heart. find ppl who see this wonderful trait you possess outside of your disfunctional family.