I just emailed my T again, something very honest about my needs and where they come from. I can see it's not about her; she just triggers me like others have done in the past. I told her I had more compassion for the part that reacts the way it does, due to my history. I'm not as ashamed of the feelings for my T. I have a lot of passion inside and nowhere to direct it. That's not a new realization but one that's usually hidden. It's not for this forum. I feel better right now, more calm and accepting of my parts. I'm sure my T will like that email. I don't need an answer from her to know that!