Hey Girl,

(Always fun to "say" that) I've been grappling internally with this very question. I certainly don't want to be "settled" for. I don't want a partner unless he really wants to be with me (in spite of my flaws). Of course I want him to consider it very carefully. Can he live with the fact that we have different ideas about some issues? Even some issues which are close to his heart?

I think it is silly to expect that we won't have to make some adjustments when we incorporate another person into our lives. But we shouldn't feel as if we're "settling" for someone. Instead we should accept that no one is going to be perfectly supportive and perfectly matched in terms of energy levels, interests, and social needs.

It's only a problem for us if we are expecting that significant other to fulfill every external need we might have. As long as we can get what we need from our support world (which includes but should not be limited to one significant other), we oughtn't to feel as if we are "settling" for a partner who is less than "ideal." It's not helpful to labor under the misconception that the "ideal" partner (in quotes because I think it's a fiction) will somehow make our lives perfectly effortless and continually happy, thrilling, etc. (add your favorite adjective).

Just one POV, and (as I've said) I've been grappling, so your mileage may vary! Thanks for the topic, though, it helps to write about it.