Thanks
i'm doing better in some areas and worse in others. :\ i guess its good to be better in some areas. but i think i'm detaching from reailty as a coping skill and i dont know if i'm okay with this or not...
I actually found this place on the internet that allows crisis email and crisis live chat, but it was in california and they were closed, (only open for live chat and responses through email between mon to friday for so many hours) lol. I would much rather a live chat thing.

I have so many things that has gathered up since the first of this year. that i've been holding inside and now theres too many to even speak on it all, and if i try certain times come out, at diffrent times, and it confuses people and even makes people think i'm changing my story (i'm not, its just diffrent instances. and difrfrent problems lol).

I dont have a therapist or a pdoc. I did.. i had a T until January, and then i had a pdoc until december. both quit. the pdoc quit on everyone and left. and the therapist quit when i wanted her to talk to my previous therapist about why i shouldn't move back to my parents, and she was trying to force me to go.
... but she wins... i've given up... and atleast i had support from the hospital when i was there.. i dont have anythign here.. no resources. no nothing.. I try and reach out and get nothing everytime. or leads that are just nothing. .... one reason why i'm so depressed is because i see no other way. its either go back, or i'm completely stuck. and i can't even sleep at night because my mind just wont stop. I have the mind issue even when i dont have issues. but now it's a all night thing to where i only get 2 hours of sleep if that.
:\