I'm sorry you're going through all of this Lexi. I feel like maybe I have been where you are....in my own way. I know what it is like to feel like you have to keep things inside and it is too overwhelming to tell people. I hope you can find another therapist. I feel like this would really help you--especially if you are having trouble talking to people that are understanding---therapists are generally a safe place to share.

Other safe places that I have found are al-anon, and adult children of alcoholics/dysfunctional families....I don't know if you have any reason to go to either of these, but if you find a good meeting they are pretty good---and can apply to other problems as well (not just if you have alcoholism in your family). I have had suicides in my family but the emotions are similar to what the al-anon people are going through.