Hi there sharita
I have two brothers...one older/one younger. There's four years between each of us. Our father was a lifer in the marines.
We saw, suffered, experienced and dealt with alot...all in the same house. What amazes me is how differently things are remembered by each of us...even how differently we reacted then.
We all don't have much of a childhood set of memories, as I think we're all dissociators. What we do remember is remembered differently, or I will remember different details about a certain memory, brother will remember others, and between the two of us the memory is fuller. It's strange how memories work. T and I have talked alot about it.
Two people experiencing the same event can remember it differntly...even argue the facts. Two members of the same upbringing will even remember a different set of memories, which helps to create their belief(s) on how bad or good the childhood might have been. For instance, my older brother thinks the mother was a saint. I was able to see the tenderness in the father that the boys didn't see. The younger brother hated both of them for the longest time and had next to no communications with either from about 17 yrs. old, until he started seeing the mother a few years back.
The facts that are known about all three of us. We all live the result of severely disturbed childhoods. We all three have severe emotional disturbance. That's about the only thing we can agree on, I think. LOL.
I think the how the experiences affect can be a direct result of being boy or girl as well.
Basically, I feel memories are remembered, stored differently by siblings based on sex, perception, mood, understanding, age, etc.
Another possibility...does your brother not remember alot things at all? It could be that what you remember is not the same for him because he's put it away somewhere?
In short, I know exactly what you're saying and it can be hard not to be able to share a horrible childhood event, or set of them, with your sibling.
Good luck. PM any time.
KD