My racing thoughts have reached a whole new level. At first I'd see them as just thoughts that I 'simply' need to ignore - that actually I have to ignore. Or else. Now they seem to start affecting my reasoning and I get trapped in a maze, and I feel there is a puzzle that needs to be solved to be able to get out!
A whole narrative of myself, my life, what I think, how I think, what I do, how it relates to everything else, to everyone else, how everything is connected otherwise nothing makes sense, mixed with false guilt and anxiety and ultimately the idea of having my own self in my head in a nutshell, and that this nutshell sometimes restricts me, but others it's what I have to listen to, the 'me' that is stronger and pushing on and on, and I am faced with the edge: the fear of neither being able to back down or go on.
What on earth??? Is that still chemistry being off or am I actually insane as a person???

I have been told that what will kill me is the fact that I reflect upon reflection and that I need to 'drop' things. I know I think too much in general, but this is getting ridiculous....And if I was that 'crazy' as a person, would it come and go? Wouldn't I be crazy at all times because this is who I am - crazy?!

I need ice.