These are symptoms, remember, not the core of who you are. You deserve to have balanced chemistry in your head, and it's not fair that you are suffering. I wish that I could reassure you, to tell you that even though these thoughts are driving you crazy, they are not you, they will not damage you, they will pass, with time. They will recede like the tide. It will take time, and what you need is calm. Try and hold on to this anchor, if you feel lost in your thoughts. You are not a symptom, a symptom happens to you.