Thanks everyone for your advice. I have talked to him about it a couple times but he sees it as me pointing out things I don't like about him. I told him today it's not him i don't like, it's the way the medication make him. I don't think he has ever dealt with real problems. If something got serious or stressful, he always used the herbal method for calming down. I don't have much of a problem with that but am realizing he has never dealt with stress with a clear head and probably doesn't know how to. And now that he is prescribed xanax and not smoking I think he may be overtaking the medication on stressful days. He doesn't take them everyday like the script is filled for but still picks them up monthly. So maybe that's the problem. Huh... sometimes just writing it down helps. never used a forum like this but i see why they are so useful!!