Unfortunately the meds aren't like antibiotics where you take them and you get better and don't need them anymore.

BP/Depression, most mental illnesses are chronic conditions that need to be treated for the lifetime. It's like needing insulin or oxygen or blood pressure medicine.

obviously I can't tell you what to do, but the few times I stopped taking my meds I got very sick and ended back up worse than before...i need to take the big handful of pills every night and every morning in order to live my functioning life. It's a rough lesson buy you may need to learn it the hard way.