Yes, if you ask about SI, they will strongly suspect that you have a reason for asking that, and will probably ask you for more information. So it's a way to put it on the table. You still don't have to tell them if you don't like their answer. You could decide to go to another therapist, (or ask for a referral to one with experience dealing with SI), and/or you can just say that you don't want to say any more about that. They won't have enough to hospitalize you, since all they have is a suspicion. But they won't want to hospitalize you, especially since you haven't cut since June.

I feel strongly that it is important to be open with your therapist, especially when it's hard like this. Although SI isn't your main issue (it never is, really), it is important information that will help your T to understand how you cope, and how to help you better. And as long as you have something that you are holding back on, the relationship won't be what it could be.

Don't you think that it would be better to bring it up before it happens again, and ask for help to prevent it, than to hold off until after it happens? In the first option you get help dealing with your feelings before they get to the out of control point, and it shows that you are sincere about learning how to deal with them effectively. If you wait until after, that's more likely to show that you're going to keep on doing things the way you always have and not accept help. Telling her wouldn't be for nothing because opening up like that is a step forward in the relationship.

Working in someone else's office isn't what I had in mind when I mentioned an agency. Agencies often have fairly rigid rules that counselors have to follow, while a private office, even with a partner or supervisor, is more likely to allow for flexibility and using their own judgement.

Another thing to consider is that therapists know how important it is to be open and honest, and to keep their word. They won't give you a promise that they don't intend to keep. They know that they have to earn and keep your trust in order to be able to help you.

Good luck with your decision!

Rap