(((SarahL))), (((Tomi))), (((Jen))), & (((Jan))),

Thank you all for your caring thoughts. I haven't had to talk to my pdoc between visits for quite a while....but had to break down today & call. He is giving me a prescription for Valium to see if that might help.....last time I was on valium I could take it like M&M's & it didn't have any effect on me at all. I am praying that it will work now that I have been away from it for a few years. I am hoping that when the year point of when my Mother died last year is over that I will be able to find some of my control back. The worst part is that I am feeling so sick to my stomach that eating is just not happening & I know it is only making me feel worse.

My self talk is how stupid can I be to allow all these thoughts & feelings to have so much control over my mind & physical part of my body......but for some reason, I just can't seem to control anything right now. I can tell myself that I can get through just 1 more day, but each day that I seem to feel worse makes that self talk difficult to listen to no matter how much I know it is true.

These anxiety attacks are really tough. I do my relaxation techniques & am fine while doing them but as soon as I finish, WHAM. At this point, I feel completely frozen. Taking a step forward seems impossible at this point. Even kicking myself in the rear to make it out to the ranch to see my babies or even ride is impossible & when I do, I end up walking around feeling like I am watching myself & it really isn't me. The dizziness & passing out is a horrible feeling & not feeling safe around my horses is scarry.

Thank you all for your warm support....it really helps a lot to know that others care & that I am not the only one who has felt these feelings.

Debbie