Lastyear - oh yes, it is a huge struggle to be authentic. I am still working on this with my own T. There is a lot of fear about how a T will respond to certain things.

In the T relationship, we will not usually be able to do all of this all at the same time. Usually, hardly any of the time! After all, we are in therapy to learn how to be this way in our relationships. But they are goals - things to try to keep in mind as we go forward with sessions.

For example, right now-today, I am 2 hours from my session. I don't want to tell my T about some stuff this weekend. I will be picky and tell him what I want him to know. Why am I doing this? Because of my own fear - I don't want to hurt today too much in session because I worked 7 days in a row and am exhausted and have to work 4 days starting tommorow. So I am making a choice to deal with some easier stuff today.

But the choice is mine. And I know that by not telling everything, I will have to spend another hour next week dealing with what I need to deal with today. It is my money, my hour, my choice.

By me keeping in mind my very first point - that I am the customer, I am able to give myself grace about the honesty rule. I will not be dishonest, but if T comes out and asks me a certain thing that I don't want to deal with, I will lie. Why? Because I call the shots and it is my dime :-) LOL . But I have to realize that if I make that choice, I am the one who will pay the price. It may take one extra session to go through why I lied. My T won't punish me over my choice. But it will cost me.

All of this comes down to us just being aware of how our actions and decisions impact our therapy.