Dear Maven.

I felt your pain and sorrow as I read your story, for I too have lived through what you so bravely spoke of. I hid behind the weight (my wall of protection, or so I thought) to keep my self safe from the world, from being hurt, from being rejected - from the lust and sexual abuse of men. I longed for sex, to be touched and to be held - as to meet a deep inner emotional need that no other could enter... as to heal my wound. I gave up all that was important to me in life and in love for a FEAR - a fear of rejection, of self hatred, of being replaced, of people and of fears still unknown to me, yet very much alive. I fight each day to remain and I fight each day to leave - I often wonder which will win. Yet I go on for the real me, the one that was lost in the mist of all my pain, screams louder to be here than the friend I call Death.

I fight so that I might feel again... all the good and less of the bad, the unsafe has no place.

Might you too find a reason to go on... to feel and live again.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -