Hi Wantfornot. I am new here and not great at giving advice but this must be very confusing for you. You finally open up to your T and she can not deal with what you told her? It sounds like you have a lot of changes coming up in your life. It would be nice if she could be a constant for you during these changes.
I deal with those type of feelings also, not that I am ready to act on them, but the thoughts do get strong at times. My T wants to know about them because it tells him how badly I am feeling. He does ask that I do the responsible thing, though, and make him aware if my control over those feeling is weakening or I fear I cannot control them or need help controlling them. I have agreed to this. This way I can talk to him about them them without fearing he will have to make a decision as to whether he has to hospitalize me or put me in a more protected setting. I do have to keep my end of the bargain though and be honest with him. Maybe you could talk to her about it in that frame of reference if you feel you have control over those feelings.At least it would be a way of getting it out on the table for discussion about how you feel she is running from you because you brought up those feelings. I don't know if this is of any help to you but it has help me when I have needed to share those feelings.