I recently got together with my boyfriend. We had been really good friends for over a year, finally admitted to having fallen in love with each other and have since moved in together. He had over the past 6 months prior to this been sucked into a VERY bad relationship with someone who tricked him into believing she was a totally different person, made him totally dependant on her and then used and abused him (mostly verbal, but also threw a bottle in his face once). He has told me how horrible he feels about himself for getting sucked into that relationship and that she made him feel dirty and like a "dildo with feet."

At first things between us in the bedroom were fine, great in fact, but after about a month he started to exhibit a complete lack of interest in me and shy away from even kissing and touching that might lead that direction. When I finally confronted him on this he admitted that he has become terrified of intimacy, and has realized he has a ton of baggage in that area he needs to work through.

I am trying REALLY hard to give him space and let him work through this, but it's so hard sometimes I worry it's impossible. My self esteem is in the toilet because I feel totally undesireable, and I feel hurt and rejected because I love him so much and am not allowed to express myself with him in that manner or share that level of intimacy and bonding with him except on the rarest occasion which has also become more awkward. I initially thought of my feelings on the issue as mostly sadness and hurt, but am realizing i'm becoming angrier at him each day. I feel like he is allowing this horrible person and her horrible actions to mess things up between us, and cannot really understand why he can't seperate our relationship from his past. I've had some pretty horrible intimacy experiences of my own, but they don't effect how I feel towards him.

Am I being unreasonable? How do I give him the space he needs without coming to really resent him for it?