Exhausted. Got maybe 3 hours of sleep last night. Managed to drag myself out to see the doctor and my counselor. She wasn't available today but she took one look at me and squeezed me in for fifteen minutes between appointments, and I'm going to see her over her lunch break on Wednesday. The fact that she would do that means I must REALLY not be well. It's funny. I hit a certain point where the depression just ... is. There are no degrees of depression anymore, not that I can notice. It's just what I am, all the time.

I want to curl up in a ball and shut myself away from the world. Setting foot outside my door sets my whole body trembling. I just want to get away from here, away from my life. I want to disappear and start over. I want to be somebody else, because I simply can't stand being me anymore.