I live alone and sometimes I get way too much in my own head. I feel like I should be more productive with my time off, a better friend and family member to those I care about and then my mind goes ever further...

Thinking I am a total failure. Almost 40 and never finished college, divorced and living in a tiny apartment I can barely afford due to my choices in life and what got me here... like a bad marriage and subsequent drug use (drug-free for over 2 years now, though). I am seeing someone now, but I always worry that the love will stop because it always seems to.

I feel like I should be doing more, but then I have days like today that are debilitating I can hardly get out of bed. It was hard enough to raise my hands to the computer to type this - my arms feel like heavy weights.

I've done therapy before and am thinking of doing it again, but I work such insane hours (retail) that I don't have any kind of set days off or schedule whatsoever. That and I hate discussing anything personal with anyone I work with, as they like to gossip...

I guess I'm at this weird, mid-life crossroad thing again, and I'm scared. Thank you for letting me vent.