Today I feel robbed of my self-esteem.
Depression has taken my self possession.
I feel apathetic and angry today.
I went through the motions.
Walked on the treadmill at the gym, worked on an oil pastel, listened to some music. But I am feeling empty. The conversation I had with my dad this morning did not help. It made the day so much worse. I know - of course - I cannot expect anyone else to act the way I want them to! My father is his own person. But I hate that I am in my 30's and he still makes me feel like nothing. Invisible. I know no one can make you feel a certain way. "That is up to you" they say. But I feel so confused. So triggered, still! I feel empty, hollow. I don't know how to put my life back together. I am working on being a whole person. But I still flicker in and out as though there is a bad reception.