yep.. ive officially dipped in the cycle.. I've been staring at my razor since last night.. I haven't cut since January though and this is the longest break in depression I've had in a couple of years..and now it's ****ing back. I can't focus and I'm scatter brained again.. I know we're not supposed to post about suicide and no this isn't an attempt to do so I just feel it and i hate it. I hate the fact that I want to exit and not for the sake of attention.. I'd rather everyone in my life not be aware of my death altogether. By the time I was old enough to understand death I told myself I wouldn't make it past 19 and I'm actually surprised I'm still here.. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore but I need to cut. fml

there are soo many people in hospitals and in hospice begging for another week or month or year but my head is my head is so terribly screwed on I'm whining about suicide