Excellent post ((KathyM)) and here I thought I was good lol. Ygrec - you're obviously very smart and can write well. How does writing a book sound? You can also share what you learned with others, which is rewarding. What have you learned and what would you say to others, in order to help them not make mistakes? From what you've written it sounds like you've been in an emotional prison, never being able to experience the full uninhibited joys.