Thanks everyone. I SO appreciate your kind words today. I really needed it...
I joined my partner and her friends - work collegues, for dinner. But I felt so far away. I acted "friendly" but was just not really there. They have their own stuff to talk about. I feel like you all understand even more than the people I just spent time with IRL. I am so frozen. But have hope tomorrow is a better day. Also the cat stepped on my drawing... She altered the oil pastel with her cat litter paws. It's kind of funny. But seems to top off today. I shouldn't have left it on the table. I just feel like everything I try to do gets lost into thin air. I feel like a ghost today - a kind of entity with little value or impact. But you all have made me feel better.

Elana